my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
