i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
