weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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