none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
