My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
