I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
