is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
