So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
foreskin is a definite game changer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
