before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
