Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
