People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
