If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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