It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
