So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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