the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
