I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
