Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
