Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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