i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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