There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
