is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I touched a dick in church today
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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