And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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