Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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