Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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