I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
