sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
