So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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