he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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