i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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