is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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