So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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