You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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