So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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