I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
