I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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