I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
