1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
