You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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