this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just want nice things and good sex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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