i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
