Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
