You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
do herpes really smell.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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