this beer tastes like vomit already
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
