She is in my trunk
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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