I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
