i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
