I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
