is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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