ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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