She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
