I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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